Today I woke up in a really bad mood. Things were just going wrong left and right. Not big things, but lots and lots of little things that added that perfect amount of annoyance that made me grouchy. I was mad at everyone. Worse yet, I was totally scolding myself for being that way. I kept thinking what a bad person I was for being grouchy. Basically I was mad at myself, too. I felt that I had not grown a bit. Why couldn't I stop this anger I was having? It was in a very self-defeating situation.
Through all this anger I didn't once lash out at anyone or anything. I wanted to, but I didn't. I wanted to send a nasty email to Brookstone for losing my order and I wrote it, then I quickly deleted it and sent something much nicer. It wasn't Brookstone's fault I was having a bad morning. Then something occurred to me. I was growing. I was noticing my feelings but not acting them out. That's something. Actually, that's huge! I should be proud of myself not kicking myself. Suddenly, I felt a better about myself. I was still grouchy, but I was starting to feel better.
I am taking this little realization and adding it to my successes. I am not going to change overnight, but I can change. I already have. I am going to give myself credit for that.
Posted by Sean